Friday, January 25, 2013


THEORY OVERHEARD AROUND ALL-LESBIAN DRUMMING CIRCLE: Karen Carpenter was miserably unhappy because she was a closeted lesbian. And as with most theories about celebrities' private lives (ewww....), this gem is based on the scientifically quantifiable observation that Karen Carpenter was good at softball. She was also single most of her life, only married That One Guy because her mother made her--oh yeah, and she always yearned for her mother's love, too, but never got it.

See? That's always a sign.

Furthermore, performance photos indicate she preferred sensible shoes, low maintenance hairstyles, and--when not on stage--Karen Carpenter was widely known to be outdoorsy. 

The world will never know if the theory is true, and thank God. Human sexuality exists on a continuum, not a teeter totter, and growing numbers of people are figuring that out. When that number of people reaches critical mass, we will have formed ourselves a more perfect Union. Something to look forward to! Until that time, people will continue to put others in one camp or another, based largely on silly stereotypes. 

Let me tell ya, on the day that Chely Wright came out, my Beloved (an ardent country music fan) could have been knocked over with a feather. She was stunned, even though she credits herself with a fairly accurate gaydar. "That can't be right. Are you sure? Do you mean Michelle Wright--the Canadian? No, because Chely Wright dated Brad Paissss...huh. Really? Wow. Seriously?" I just kept texting back that she needed to look it up.  

Chely rattled a lot of cages that morning, and I continue to hear the rattle. People are aware in new ways of how things work, of their own spot on the continuum, of the silliness of certain bigotries.